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executing your dreams: career and lifestyle

Current advice preaches staying aware in the present, being mindful of all that evolves now. However, creating a master plan or future vision guides us in our daily decision making.

Having life goals or dreams can take different forms. Some people think in long term goals, others focus closer in. Some like spontaneity and others prefer a planful approach. Without a plan we tend to drift and lose touch with what is most important to us.

As a Career and Life Coach, I ask clients to design 90 day, 1 year and 5 year goals. For some the exercise is easy. For others a longer term time frame is hazy. Perhaps giving yourself permission to dream big is a beginning.

While my life has progressed organically toward my passions and values, I hold some clear aims to accomplish. One was just achieved after over 40 years of execution. Finally reaching a long term lifestyle goal can be satisfying and amazing. It can also lead to more life review and discernment. What’s next?

Growing up in Minnesota, I became accustomed to cold and snow about 6 months out of the year. Now I don’t know how the current Minnesota weather is, but in the 50’s and 60’s it was a long winter. I left Minnesota to attend college in Southern Wisconsin. Not much change there. But in my sophomore year I studied and worked in Bogota and Medellin, Colombia. A change was coming, along with more information.

People used to ask me how I survived the cold in Minnesota. I couldn’t answer because I didn’t know anything else until I lived in Colombia. Medellin is known as the City of Eternal Spring and is it gorgeous there. Now this was more like it for me. I had found my sunshine and warmth as well as  foreign intrigue.

Now that I’ve lived most of my adult life in Northern Virginia, I still don’t like winter, even a milder form.  I long for a break during the most difficult months of January and February and I still love to experience the world.

With young children it was difficult to get away except for their school vacations. But once in a while, I’d take a long weekend to Florida. One year I even did a month volunteer project in Thailand. I found a way, however brief, to meet my winter needs with breaks and adventure.

Once the children were launched, I took 2 week winter vacations to various hot spots around the world. Subsequently having my own business, the escapes evolved to 2 weeks in January, come home and 2 more weeks in February. I later found ways to coach while traveling internationally. Now this was working pretty well for my goals.

But in 2018 I totally reached my goal of 2 winter months in the warmth. And since I’m still interested in seeing new worlds, this year was Southern South America. 

Even though achieving my goal took many years, I pulled it off and did it step by step. I see how seemingly impossible, long term dreams can be fulfilled through focus and determination. This success gives me confidence in setting new goals that at first seem overwhelming. I am so pleased with following my interests and being creative in the execution of this plan, that I can’t wait for the next one.

Susanna wants to become a children’s book author. She loves to write and took English literature in college. Her jobs to date haven’t included much writing, but they pay her bills. Still this ache to write fiction dwells within Susanna. She’s not willing to give up her dream. So she creates a plan of action to take writing courses, practice her writing, join a community of writers and volunteer to edit and research for established authors. While Susanna is not yet published, she is immersed in the world of writing. She follows her deadlines of production and submission and grows her skills and portfolio.

So what’s on your list? Have you dared to do some “out of the box” dreaming? All it takes is self awareness, a vision, identifying the steps and execution. Make room for review and reward and you’ll be on a good track.

 

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan in which we must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success”

Pablo Picasso 

Ready to commit to a lifelong dream?

Set your start date for action
Outline the steps
Find an accountability partner
Get in action
Smile at your courage

Full speed ahead and see you on the path!

 

 

 

 

 

it can’t get any worse, can it?

This month I was hiking in the California wilderness with a very rudimentary map. The trail did not seem to match the description given by the park ranger. Much younger people were breezing by me as they climbed the mountainous path. No one was coming back as this was a circle trail. Thus, no local information, no reassurance, no help. I could gauge my distance and estimate if I had enough daylight to make it to the end. But, there were dark rain clouds overhead. What to do?

Adventures in life have beginnings, middles and endings. You start accumulating these experiences early on. If you are fortunate at a young age, you have wiser people around who can help you with the challenges. As you age, you may be less willing to reach out for that help, but could still use it.

The majority of your personal growth occurs in two arenas. Freud said love and work are the two biggies in our lives. As you think back over your life, where are your greatest turmoils and resulting lessons located? I would suspect it’s your relationship and work experiences that most impact who you become. Play can also be a contributor to the development of your unique talents and interests.

“Love and work, work and love, that’s all there is”
Sigmund Freud

So I continued a gradual climb over the rocky, tree rooted trail. Enjoying the blue sky, clear air and gorgeous vegetation. I was at 8500 feet, but the air was sufficient for the task ahead. After a few hours, my enjoyment and the novelty switched to worries of how much farther to the destination and would it get more difficult and storm?

You often want to believe that the worst is behind you and you have clear sailing ahead. My companions and I entertained the idea of turning back. We knew that path and were positive that it would be downhill in that direction. But we had come more than half way.  What if we missed something glorious ahead? No one else had turned around. How difficult could it be?

These turning points in life occur on many different paths. Barbara is wondering whether she should leave her marriage. The children are launched and she feels a lack of camaraderie with her husband. Would a change be better or worse?

Mitchell thinks about changing his job and even starting over in a new career. He yearns to learn new things and to make a difference. His current work has grown stale and unimportant.

How do you choose? What process do you take in your decision making? In my dilemma I discussed it over with my fellow hikers. We all felt strong enough to walk the final miles. We expressed a curiosity about possible new vistas ahead and we wanted to test ourselves. How is this similar or different when the arena is not play, but work or love?

Barbara starts talking with friends and family about her marital dissatisfaction. She enters therapy to clarify her thinking and feelings. She prepares for communications with her husband and ultimately suggests couple therapy. Barbara is determining what her options are before she makes a final decision.

Mitchell likewise consults with friends and family regarding his work discomfort. He identifies areas for change and enlists his supervisor and co-workers in a plan. He decides to take some classes and finds a volunteer position that meets some needs.

Both reach outside and inside to get support, identify a vision and take small steps. My hike ended well. We were tired, satisfied and awed by the beauty in the forest. And the storm stayed away. Next time we will be familiar with this trail and can choose it again or pick a new one. The lesson was: it may get worse, but you can handle it.

What challenge lies ahead for you?

Pick a question to take on
Determine the resources needed
Ask for input
Create a plan
Take action and review results

Smooth sailing ahead and see you on the path!

career metamorphosis: transforming your life

Exploring the tropics of Panama this month woke me up to several vibrant transformations of insects and people. Surrounded by growth, energy and adventure, the flora and fauna are brilliant and the people live with gusto.

At the “Butterfly Haven” we witnessed Morpho butterflies transform into an entirely different shape and form. There is no mini figure growing into an adult. Instead, it is a complete metamorphosis.

Viewing the metamorphosis of the Morpho reminds me of how people change and develop throughout their lives. Sometimes that change is gradual and others it feels abrupt. In humans change can be stimulated by an awakening desire to do something different, to become someone different.

The realization that your current career is not fulfilling or is not bringing you joy usually creeps up. Many people are surprised that a job they fought for and carried out for years is now bringing them a sense of gloom. When did it change and why? When did your dreams of implementing a new vision absorb more of your energy than the efforts to move ahead in your current position?

Is there a life cycle of job compatibility? Looking back over your work history provides information on what worked and what caused that irritation that later was impossible to ignore. Initially you are “all in”. You need to be in order to succeed and grow in new circumstances. Your focus is driven toward making this work.

But in time, there is a shift. You may settle in and love how you are contributing. You admire the development of your skills, appreciate your results and enjoy your team and leaders.

But often over time, that enjoyment changes. Is it a natural ending to the job satisfaction life cycle or have systems changed so much that the job you began is now unrecognizable? It’s predictable that everything changes: you, the players, needs, trends, solutions, technology…At times you roll with the changes and are intrigued by them and at others they begin to grate. Grate against your values, your talents, your interests.

And now you want out. But where to go? Do you require a complete transformation from caterpillar to butterfly or a more subtle alternative?

The Panama we observed seems to attract pioneers. People leaving behind their former professions and starting something new. One was a dentist who, while looking for a retirement home, ended up as a chocolate farmer and tour guide. Another was a photographer who took a risk by owning a B&B. A third was a group of friends, including a “reformed attorney”, who longed to create a fishing camp but instead built an eco lodge targeting birders.

All heard the call of a different way of life and work. All investigated the possibilities and weighed the pros and cons. All were comfortable with taking a risk, knowing that nothing is guaranteed in life. They went into their transformations with clear eyes and the excitement for what lay ahead. One comforts himself with the knowledge that he could go back if needed. All established some form of safety net. They are thrilled by their results and intrigued by the challenges ahead.

“The biggest risk is not taking any risk…In a world that is changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks”

Mark Zuckerberg

So what’s standing in the way of implementing your dreams? We all have barriers: fear, money, lack of information, inertia. The difference between those that get things done and those that obsess about it is action. Step by step, making the plan to get closer to that goal and acting on it.

Here’s the truth. Action feels wonderful. It makes you feel alive, even if you have doubts. But inertia feels confusing, heavy, overwhelming. If you don’t like where you are, do something about it. If it’s scary, find a community, follow role models, fill in the knowledge blanks.

In life you may start in one place and end up in a totally different one like the butterfly. The ongoing practice of increasing your self awareness promotes success in designing the “just right” fit.

Begin your metamorphosis:

Define your dreams
Establish your targets
Identify the first 3 steps
Step onto the path
Encourage yourself

Smooth flying and see you on the path!

mudslide: unexpected obstacles that derail life/career plans

Have you ever had a plan that was interrupted by something outside your control? Often you do the work, keep the deadlines, get the information, use your skills and wham, something stops you in our tracks. “This isn’t fair”, you cry. “Why is this happening to me?” you ask. “I did everything right”.

Recently while vacationing in California, I had a family reunion scheduled. All was in place to arrive with time to spare and then, the unexpected occurred. A mudslide closed the road I was traveling. Now I don’t live in a place that has mudslides. This was a total shock after enjoying two weeks of dry, sunny California weather. But it happened and the resulting detour added 7 hours to the trip and caused me to miss the initial event.

Was I disappointed? Yes. Was I devastated? No. This was a minor loss with minimal cost in the scheme of life. I adjusted, did the extra work needed and recovered a partial victory.

All of us have far more serious challenges over our life span: personal illnesses, family loss, divorce, unemployment and financial ruin. Life seems to roll in waves with ups and downs. Good times and bad. Your career is one major part of life that can be rocky and confusing. Other areas are relationships, finances and health.

How you develop your skills to meet these challenges impact the results of the tough times. When you appreciate your good times, build resources for the bad ones and show up strong when you are knocked off base, you can lesson the negative repercussions of unwanted change.

Barry is sailing along in his favorite job of 8 years. He came in green, but has worked hard to advance his skills and professional relationships. Barry can see himself doing this work until retirement. He loves his co-workers and clients. He feels he’s making a difference in the lives of others.

One day, suddenly, the owner of Barry’s company dies. Being a family owned business, the son and daughter step in. Times are rocky due to this calamity. After a few months, the family decides to sell the business. The new owner makes significant changes putting his mark on operations.

Barry doesn’t recognize his company anymore. His position is re-designed and his supervisor is replaced. Barry is unhappy and thrown off kilter. His satisfaction disappears and he questions his future with the company.

Now Barry has choices. However, when your desired direction is taken from you, you feel angry and stuck. The faster you can “grieve” what was and begin problem solving next steps, the faster you can find a resolution. Barry can stay and cope or leave and seek a more appropriate fit. Sorting out the actions needed for “Plan A” vs “Plan B” involve brain storming, consultation, information gathering, and heart searching.

My resolution was simple. I had two other highways to choose. Or I could wait out the mudslide clean up. Career, health and relationship challenges are much more complex. The complexities in life test our ability to be flexible and creative.

“Even when you think you have your life all mapped out, things happen that shape your destiny in ways you might never have imagined”
Deepak Chopra

Rhonda is nearing her 20th year of work. In those 20 years she has blossomed from an intern to chief of a department. Rhonda loves mentoring others and continues to make clinical contributions. One day, out of the blue, Rhonda becomes ill and is diagnosed with cancer. She is blown away.

Rhonda can take a leave from her job and undergo treatment or continue to work as she is able and live out her time. Rhonda decides on treatment and creatively carves out a reduced work role for herself. One that keeps her engaged, helps her have meaning and is intriguing to her.

Surprises and change are part of life. Not much is predictable. You can appreciate what you have today, hone skills that allow you to adjust, be optimistic and land on your feet. You can face the unexpected with preparation. If you hesitate and fall, you can pick yourself up with humility and accept the future bravely.

Meeting the Unexpected:

Release your current plan
Grieve the change/loss
Gather options
Review possibilities
Take action and engage

Be aware and meet you on the Path!

taking shortcuts: career transition options

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon we kayaked from the Pentagon to Georgetwon, sharing the Potomac River with various water enthusiasts. The views were breathtaking and the exercise devine. Paddling farther than ever before, I began to think about the way back. Would it be possible to take a different route? One that was shorter, easier, quicker?

So I proposed that we leave the river and enter a creek that was a parallel shortcut to our launch site. We’d gone this way before and it was peaceful, solitary, and filled with birds and turtles. It seemed like the perfect plan.

However after a short distance, the creek became filled with green, seaweed-type plants. Was this hydrilla that had spread since our last visit? Once we had taken this route and the low tide required us to portage. This time we had sufficient water, but the vegetation stopped our boats cold. We were about halfway in and couldn’t see our destination yet. “Perhaps it will get better,” I thought. “I’d hate to turn around and go back.” So we stroked very hard, trying to rid our paddles of the accumulating green plants that hung on everything.

If we stopped, we stayed stuck. It reminded me of stories about quicksand disasters…no way out. We tried to make paths for each other. The first one clearing a way for the second. All the while I’m thinking, “this really wasn’t a smart move, Candy. Why did you think you could cut corners and make it back easier and faster?”

Once home safely with aching arms, I began to see the parallels with decisions we make in life. And especially with times when we want to change our work. Perhaps we yearn to join a new, more evolved company or more radically, we envision switching to a completely new career. Once we decide to make the change, we want it to happen fast. And even easy would be great.

So we search for the shortcuts. Veronica is a counselor who works with homeless families. She loves helping her clients, but the work is often challenging and the resources are scarce. As Veronica ages, she would like shorter hours and easier work. The field of Life Coaching is making news these days. Veronica doesn’t know much about it, but some of her colleagues are talking about a switch.

Veronica attends a workshop on coaching and is intrigued. She would love to work with people who have sufficient resources to create desired changes in their lives. Veronica signs up for a coach training course and starts to plan her job exit. Veronica is thinking that with her background and this training, she’ll have a coaching practice up in less than one year.

Many people are attracted to changing their field of work. However, they are reluctant to spend time and money on a new degree or certification and training. They worry they are too old to spend a long time “starting over”. They want the destination, but hope to avoid the journey. These obstacles can result in remaining in a dissatisfying work environment or jumping into something new with little preparation or thought.

Avoiding what you view as a challenge can bring greater impediments. Without proper information and planning, Veronica may have unrealistic expectations of her proposed career as a coach. One way to get the inside facts is to interview people who are doing work you admire. It’s important to get current information on the trends, opportunities, salaries, skills needed, demand, and competition.

What if I had asked someone about the current conditions in the creek? If I had known the path was overgrown and had compared the effort required with that of the river route, I would have had greater knowledge to make an informed decision. Instead, I impulsively tried the “easy” option. Sometimes what’s best for you isn’t the quickest or the easiest. Sometimes the harder path takes you to where you really want to go.

“It shouldn’t be easy to be amazing. Then everything would be. It’s the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth. When something’s difficult to come by, you’ll do that much more to make sure it’s even harder-or impossible-to lose”
Sarah Dessen

Design your route:

Determine your end goal
Interview role models
Identify the steps needed
Examine the cost/benefits
Begin or re-work your plan

Full speed ahead and see you on the path!

wake up call: time to take action

Hvar, Croatia

Think of times when you really wanted something but discovered you lacked the preparation for it. This month while hiking in Croatia, I found myself in that situation. I had dreamed of coastlines and sun, great seafood and interesting companionship, new vistas and learning.

While I experienced all that, I also received a huge wake up call. My training fell short of what was needed to thoroughly enjoy the adventure. Instead, I labored up the inclines and stepped gingerly over the rocks. My attention was on my safety versus the view. I was surprised by this peculiar experience. Previous hiking situations were manageable. What was different this time? What do I need to change?

So my wake up call pertains to conditioning and health. Other wake up calls may reflect work or relationships. They catch your attention and bring you up short. But do they really need to surprise you so much? What initial signs are you ignoring? What short cuts are you taking?

What keeps you in a job that no longer fits or a relationship that is broken? A wake up experience can hit you in the face and prevent you from hiding in the dark. You can’t make excuses and push things under the rug anymore. It’s time to address what is standing in your way of happiness, success, or accomplishment.

These tipping points serve to force a choice. Either you address the problem or you change your vision. Facing the fact that your success requires more work and/or knowledge leads you closer to your dreams. Giving up because it’s difficult results in disappointment and shame.

I didn’t give up. I kept going, even though it wasn’t pretty, even though I was the last in line. But perhaps if I had prepared harder before, my vacation would have been easier and more enjoyable.

Marion is extremely unhappy in her job. She dreams of more responsibility, meaning, and autonomy. Her efforts to find new work are falling flat. She’s unsure what else to do. She’s angry and frustrated and, if truth be told, wants something fantastic to fall into her lap. Rarely does that happen in real life.

Instead the breaks come after a great deal of hard work and preparation. Marion can feel a victim or become empowered to take action to make something happen for herself. She can acquire relevant skills, get more experience through volunteering, network aggressively in her field, and/or hire a professional guide.

On one day during my hiking trip I had a personal “sherpa guide” Jasna to help me over the rough spots. We laughed and joked and became acquainted. It made the path much easier and fun for me.

A wake up call allows you to take action to get back in control. When you establish a plan to address what is needed and begin working that plan, you become invested. No longer are you hoping for a miracle, but you are helping yourself for today and tomorrow.

The practice you gain through effort teaches you that most things can be solved or attained through learning and hard work. You can achieve your dreams and reach your goals. No matter what your circumstances, fighting for what’s important is the process of creating a well-lived life.

So I took the easy route before my trip and now I’m addressing it with hard work. My fellow travelers gave me a glimpse of what’s possible. Older, fitter hikers gave me hope. If they can do it, I can too. I remarked to one guide Lea that she was very fit. She replied, “If I don’t take care of myself, who will?”

Who will indeed? What dreams do you have that require a plan of action? When will you begin? How hard will you work? What deadlines will you give yourself?

“It’s always a wake up call to get beaten”
Usain Bolt

Steps to take before a wake up call:

Identify your vision
Outline the steps needed to get there
Begin now, prepare yourself
Ask for the support you need
Appauld your progress

Enjoy life and see you on the mountain!

what’s holding you back? moving ahead with career change

lock and keyRemember Bob Dylan’s song “The Times They are A-Changin”? That was the 60’s, but people today appear to be in a swirl of change also. Is it just me or is technology changing so fast, it’s hard to keep current? Oh, I know the kids seem to be on top of it, but what about their parents or their grandparents?

How comfortable are you with the speed of your work life change? Many professionals say they are doing more with less support and their work has changed drastically from when they began. To make it worse, people feel that no one seems to understand their unique situation…how difficult things feel with no apparent way out.

When asked what change are you looking for, people at midlife often say “Freedom”. Freedom to do something different, freedom to direct the work day, and freedom from pressures. People are longing for: more autonomy and control, less stress, more laughter, more variety, less regulation, more appreciation and less responsibility.

By using our freedom in the past, many of us designed our lives around our interests and values. We chose careers we thought we would love or that would give us status, financial security, or meaning. Ten, twenty, thirty years later, are those careers still meeting our needs?

If yes, you are in good shape. If not, what can you do to become more satisfied? I hear many say, “I would really like ______, BUT______”. What follows are reasons, excuses, and barriers that appear so legitimate that no solution is possible. The result is often enduring dissatisfaction and a feeling of being trapped. Do you feel that way and will those barriers keep you from improving your life?

Today’s economy is confronting people with fewer jobs, less money and more needs. Aging parents are living longer, kids can’t find work and everyone seems to need our help. But if we’re looking for freedom, how will we create it?

What if instead of “But” we add “And” to our reasoning? “I really want to enjoy my work, but everything is changing for the worse, AND I’ll have to change with it”. Instead of hoping everything and everyone else will change back to what worked before, we have to step up and change. That action is the shortest line to getting what you want.

Of course, people can band together and push for organizational or societal change. And in your personal lives family and friends may change somewhat, if you make a request. But the distance to those changes is longer and outside much of your control.

You may not relish change, you are tired of changing and accommodating. When is it your turn to get a break? Perhaps, this could be your time. A chance for you to create a new way of living and working that better fits the maturely developed you.

If we don’t give away all of our energy at work and save some for the creative exploration called transformation, we may become intrigued and hopeful.

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after”

HENRY DAVID THOREAU

It may be time to contemplate what you have been searching for all your life and if you already have it. If you first appreciate what you already have in family, work, community, and self, how might that lead to your freedom? Or is freedom what you are really after?

Try this out:    I would like __________But__________And__________

Here’s an example:

I would like to change my career, BUT I can’t afford to lose my salary and benefits AND so I will begin to examine what other possibilities exist.

Happy fishing and see you on the path!

Step Three to Finding Your True Calling

woman climbing rock

Callings are expressed at work, at leisure, or by contributing to your community.  In addition to acting on a calling, you can “be” your calling.  A great resource to learn more is Gregg Levoy’s book Callings, Finding and Following an Authentic Life.  Levoy believes that “saying yes to the call puts you on a path that half of yourself doesn’t think makes a bit of sense, but the other half knows your life won’t make sense without”.

When you have completed Steps One and Two of Finding your True Calling (previous blogs), you will possess a preliminary vision and steps to take within ninety days to reach your goals.  You are also in action.  Fighting the inertia that keeps us stuck in the same old behaviors is challenging, but invigorating when you actually step out.

Think of the times you have procrastinated around acting on your dreams for days, months, even years.  The contrast between the disappointment that comes with procrastination and the enthusiasm that comes with action is amazing.  Which state would you prefer to live in?  “Callings keep surfacing until we deal with them” according to Levoy.  So when will you act?

If you haven’t taken your first step, here’s a tool to help.  It’s called the “Single Daily Action”.  Make a list of what you are procrastinating on and pick one task.  For 20 minutes a day, work on it.  Maybe you want to research training programs in your desired field, but you can’t get started.  Take a timer, set it for 20 minutes and get to work.  After 20 minutes, you can either stop or work longer.  Do it every day, until your goal is completed

Action doesn’t have to be huge, difficult, or sensational.  Action can be a first step, one that gets you in motion.  Often once we get started in change, we’ll be eager and enthused at first.  We wonder, why did I wait this long?  This isn’t as difficult as I thought.  I’m enjoying this.

But at some point, you usually hit a wall.  We all do, even people we admire.  Thomas Edison said, “I failed my way to success”.  Accomplished people aren’t stopped by their “failures”.  They learn and keep going.

We all need strategies to overcome our obstacles to progress.  What are your obstacles?  Common ones are fear, lack of information, low self-confidence, and lack of time.  What is the largest barrier standing in the way of your progress right now?

Let’s say lack of sufficient time is a barrier.  Frank is a very busy manager.  He cares greatly about his staff and the work they produce in human resources.  Even though Frank has advanced rapidly in his company, he feels something is missing.  He is an accomplished musician and yet has not played his guitar in years.  As a young man, Frank was in a band and loved singing and playing with his closest friends.  These days it’s all Frank can do to keep up with work and family responsibilities.  Frank dreams of playing in a band again.  What can he do?

We all have the same 24 hours in a day.  We cannot create more hours, but we can change how we use the hours we have.  Here are some strategies:

Start small
Eliminate and learn to say no
Focus on the payoff
Make this urgent
Tell others your plan

Frank went to work at eliminating his obstacles.  He decided to play his guitar for 30 minutes 3 times a week.  He carved out this time by not watching CNN and sports TV. Frank found that the joy he re-discovered by being creative gave him increased energy and clarity at work.  He was also having fun, so the payoffs motivated him to do more. While Frank had other activities that interested him, he made music the most urgent to pursue.  Finally, Frank started telling friends and colleagues of his hobby and was encouraged and introduced to like-minded musicians.  Who knows, a band may develop out of these associations.  If Frank finds music is not as important and fulfilling as he imagines, he is willing to re-assess.

As you create you own obstacle strategy, you will be prepared when challenges occur to your forward motion.  Remember these goals you have set reflect your plan for a satisfying life.  They are calling you to listen and act.

Enjoy and see you on the path!