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chasing your dreams: the interim step

Last month I met several people who traveled near and far to realize one of their dreams. For some it was securing their ideal work. For others it was choosing a lifestyle fit for their souls. How often do you ask, “Am I living my dreams?” No matter what age, you ponder how close you’ve come and what still lies ahead.

Transition points can occur naturally or with effort. You graduate school and move into the work world. You change jobs as you advance in your career. Your children grow up and launch. You create a business. You leave the paid workforce. These transitions shape who you become and reflect on how authentically your path evolves.

An example of a crooked path that represents a life well-lived is Juan. I met Juan, a surfing instructor, in Costa Rica. Before he was able to actualize his dream, Juan’s passion for surfing led him on a detour. Juan grew up in a South American region with economic and political unrest, violence and kidnapping. He felt unsafe and feared for his family’s welfare. Surfing became an interest and escape from the stresses of daily life.

When Juan became an adult, his goal was to move to the Pacific coast of Costa Rica. As it happened, he went by way of Canada. Frequently, a straight line doesn’t exist to reach your goal. The goals identified in youth are transfigured by the experiences and information you obtain while on the road. At times you may feel totally off course and wonder, “How did I get here and why am I doing this work that doesn’t interest me?” or “Why am I living here or with this person?”

In Juan’s case he went to Canada to live in safety with his sister. He didn’t speak English and didn’t see an opportunity to surf, but a surprise was in store for him. Through his interests, he met a community of people who loved surfing and did it on the Great Lakes! As Juan says, “I didn’t expect to be surfing with ice on my beard”. But he was surfing and learning to teach others and studying English.

Eventually Juan made it to Costa Rica where he has the life of his dreams. He has a wife, a child, his family has joined him and he created his own business. Juan teaches others to use surfing as a means for growth and transformation.

“If you listen to your own inner voice, it will tell you where you are now, and which method will work best for you in your evolution towards the light”

Ram Dass

If you are stuck in a situation that seems not working for you, what are your options? Dissatisfaction leads to feelings of hopelessness and despair. You lose your creativity and positivity. One way to determine where you are is to cherry pick the good parts. Who is special in your community? What skills are you learning? What values are you expressing? What purpose is being shared? Selecting out the opportunities in your current position and viewing this time as a stepping stone help to cherish this moment in your life cycle.

You are never wasting time when you’re in an interim step. This can be a jumping off point for the next, tailor-made situation. Take in whatever you can. Ask what you need to learn and seek possibilities to do it.

So I spent the winter in a surf town. I’m not a surfer, nor did I plan to become one. But I learned from that community and I reveled in the parts that worked for me. I discovered what it means to fight to be in that almost perfect place that makes your heart sing.

Perhaps your community isn’t exactly what you want it to be. Perhaps you aren’t living your values doing precisely what you dreamed, but the experiences can be important. Being flexible, curious and open to possibilities and turns in the road can lead you closer to your authentic life.

Make use of Now:

Create your vision
Enumerate the parts
Check off what you have
What’s missing?
How can you get it now?
How can you make the leap?

Enjoy the curves and see you on the path!

 

turning points: events that change your life

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Ever wonder what influences you to change direction after being on a steady path? Sometimes it’s your deliberate act and other times it’s more unanticipated. You go along in life taking care of business, often operating on auto pilot and wham, something hits you over the head. Maybe it’s a break up, a new boss, you get sick, or your last child leaves home. But something happens to get your attention.

Then the questions start flowing: Why am I here? What am I doing? Am I happy? What do I want? You begin to question everything that is familiar. You wonder what would happen if you changed direction. An opening beckons. 

Molly worked hard for 15 years climbing the ladder in her company. She was successful and engaged at work. The only things missing were a partner and children, or so she thought. Then Molly met Howard. He was someone who shared many interests. They began to spend time together and Molly’s life outside of work became rich and full.

Both Molly and Howard are committed professionals in their fields and yet something else began calling them. They talked of living overseas and helping those in need. Their meeting changed the plans they had previously designed. Together they created a new vision, which they are carrying out together.

Have you ever met someone who changed your life? Maybe it was a teacher, or a classmate/colleague, or a new friend. But you know that person touched your life in a way that changed it forever. Maybe they introduced you to something new or their presence stimulated you to think in creative ways and take risks. One benefit of interacting with new people is an infusion of innovative ideas and possibilities.

Ingie was frustrated in her job. During two years, her efforts to gain greater responsibility were stymied. She watched others get promoted who were less skilled than she. She questioned what she was missing and how long she should wait. Then Ingie met Sharon at a networking event. They shared some professional interests and held a captivating conversation. When Ingie took Sharon’s card, she noticed she was a manager. She decided to contact Sharon and set up an informational interview which eventually led to a job offer for Ingie. She made the move and is now working at a level more aligned with her skills and passions. Ingie is thrilled.

Sometimes it takes a significant loss to get our attention and lead us to a turning point. It can be a lost relationship, a health scare, a death of someone close, or a layoff. In these extreme times of stress we may be awakened to what we value. Instead of proceeding on automatic, we stop and take notice of what’s most important. This is an opportunity to reflect and adjust our lives and often a time of energy renewal.

“Sometimes the course of our lives depends on what we do or don’t do in a few seconds, a heartbeat, when we either seize the opportunity, or just miss it. Miss the moment and you may never get a chance again.” 
Aidan Chambers 

Have you ever been fired from a job only to have that be the BEST thing to happen to you? You sink or swim to the next possibility. The same happens with divorce or break ups. At the time you wonder how you’ll survive. But when you eventually do, you are grateful for the new opportunity. Once you lift your head above the pain, your eyes notice a fresh vista.

Ways to make use of Turning Points:

Look back on your life and learn from those events
Take careful stock when something shakes up your life
Keep an open mind to the possibilities
Map out a few alternatives
Try two or three
Celebrate your new direction

Embrace change and see you on the path!